My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
