i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
