she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
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Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
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When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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