I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize