a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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