she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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