You work out of a Hotel?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
