apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
