By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
