It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
