My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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