PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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