Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i wish my penis had a tongue
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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