Say something about gay babies.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
