Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize