Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
