he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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