my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
