You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
