Nicole vs. Life
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
