Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Actions speak louder than pants.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
