This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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