we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
