I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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