Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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