No stitches, just platelets and will power
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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