Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
