did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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