Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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