You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
