The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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