I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
