yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
