So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
