Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
