when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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