Her vagina should come with caution tape.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The uberlube is also flammable
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
