New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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