Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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