the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
