Well apparently he's into motor boating.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
