I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The struggles of a small town man whore
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
