called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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