so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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