Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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