He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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