I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
