Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
