the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
