i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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