Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
