Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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