Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
