You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
