my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
