Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
