I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
