Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
