It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law