Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
