i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
