Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
