If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
