Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
