I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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