Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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