why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
