4 words: hood of his car
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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