Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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