can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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