I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize