Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize